Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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