I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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