my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
