the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
