I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They have beer where we have blood.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
