Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm bleeding and have questions
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
