One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
