the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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