My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
