I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
