Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
