It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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