Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
