we were pretty classy up until the second keg
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
