my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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