The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
