ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
