Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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