Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
