Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
