maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
