I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's rum buckets o'clock
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
