I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
