Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
