I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
