They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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