I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
