so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
