i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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