Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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