Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Someone shit on the floor
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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