I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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