There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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