New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Damn victory sex feels great
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize