so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
