Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
