Sry I called you an 8
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
