she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm at about main and main street
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
