2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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