I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
