What a fucking waste of an outfit
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
