i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
