I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
