I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize