I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
