I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
