It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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