I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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