I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
