two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
