i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize