Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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