It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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