I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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