He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
