I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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