So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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