hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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