you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
