Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
