I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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