well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
