Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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